Understanding the Human Heart
by SeekerOfHearts
Summary: A short, sweet drabble I wrote about Harry's discovery about his aching heart and his love for a certain Gryffindor. OneShot : HarryHermione HHr


Info: Hey all. This is just a short drabble to revive our hearts after the tragedy we refer to as HBP. Yes, I know it's not anything great but I just needed something to cool off after that book…….so here's a one-shot fic.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter-related objects in this fic. All belong to J.K. Rowling.

_**Understanding the Human Heart**_

_By SeekerOfHearts_

Harry Potter stood menacingly, towering a few inches over his best friend……correction, his ex-best friend...

"I don't see why you always have to put studying over friends!" shouted the raven-haired boy angrily, while forming fists with his sweating hands. He glared furiously at his 'enemy' at the moment….

And Hermione returned that gesture with one that was as equally harsh, by shooting daggers of ice to Harry's heart just by staring at him fiercely.

"Well, I don't see how missing a few Quidditch games is 'putting studies over friends'. I mean, just cause you and Ron lost one cheerleader doesn't mean it's the end of the world, right!" Hermione's few words shut Harry instantly. This was one thing that Harry loved about Hermione….she was persistent with her beliefs……but right now, this was the one thing he hated about her, the most….

Harry tried to fire back a retort but Hermione was too fast and too smart for him, fighting back all the more, shutting Harry up even more.

"And Harry…why would you be so angry? I mean, during a match it seems that all you care about is snogging Ginny senseless…one at the start, one at the end! Ignoring me COMPLETELY. So why would YOU care all of a sudden, huh? HUH!" Hermione's words bore aches of pure pain within Harry, but he didn't know why it hurt so much…..

Soon, silence came over the lonely common room….

Harry was very happy that no one was here to watch him being embarrassed by a girl….no no….he shouldn't think like that. He was happy that no one was here to watch two of the closest people, two of the most loyal people in Hogwarts bicker for the first time in all their lives.

The unbearable silence continued on until a sound erupted from the portrait hole. A loud thud echoed around the room and bounced against the walls. Both Gryffindors instantly turned their heads to the sound's origin as if a reflex. There, staring at them on a floor in a frightened manner, was Neville. Of all the times he could have stumbled into the common room, it had to be now…now when Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, two of the best friends in Hogwarts, were actually having a shouting contest.

The clumsy 7th year shakily stood up and rushed back out of the common room as if he just spotted a 50-foot, fire-breathing, man-eating dragon. And that was one of the wisest things he had done this semester…..

For as soon as the common room was once again clear of distractions, the two Gryffindors resumed their fight and expressed their emotions of fury all the more.

"And why would you care about Ginny!"

"I care about her because unlike the monster that you are, I don't toy with her feelings!"

"I ain't toying with her, bloody hell!"

"Yeah! Will it sure looks like you are, using her as if she's a shield from Draco's retorts!"

"No I don't…..wait…what the heck are you----"

"Oh just shut up for---"

"No you shut---"

And the interferences of each other's shouts continued on until all that could be heard was noise……

The battle raged on for hours. Harry noticed that night had fallen for he had noticed the sky turn into a layer of darkness from a nearby window. Harry and Hermione were still fighting verbally but Harry was beginning to regret fighting with Hermione for numerous reasons.

One was for he was fighting a lost cause.

And two…he hated bickering with his best friends. He always felt so bad afterwards….

And he did.

Later that night, Harry lay in his four-poster bed, not able to sleep because he was in deep thought. Two hours before he found himself lying here thinking, the fight ended but the friendship had not been resolved. Hermione had broken into tears and ran up the girls' dormitory but not before screaming out that he was a back-stabbing, little fiend. And as Harry had predicted, his heart ached with an unbearable pain. He knew that he was going to feel this way…but he did not predict that it would be this painful. Harry had several fights with Ron and he always felt bad, but the guilt was not as dreadful as the one he felt now. His consciousness was screaming curses at him and he felt as if he was the most hated person on earth. But he could not find the reason why….

Harry was not as naïve as he seemed. He knew he felt bad…..he always felt bad when he fought with his friends….but he hadn't expected he would feel THIS bad. The feeling he now felt….he couldn't explain it…..it was a mixture of anger and guilt at himself for making Hermione burst into tears……a tint of jealousy at Ginny for he knew that Hermione would console in her…..and constant aches in his already-broken heart….add it all up…..and you've got the worst concoction of a drink in the world…..

And now….Harry frowned to himself…..a tear trickling down his face……because for once in his life, he didn't know ANYTHING that would make this situation better…….a sorry would not be enough……he messed up…………

He didn't understand……..

-

The following day, Harry experienced what looked like the most terrible morning anyone could feel. To start off, it was Monday….first period of the day: Double Potions. As soon as he got up from bed, he found that most of his fellow roommates were fixing themselves up. No one had even bothered to wake him up! He was a bit frustrated but then decided to be still as cheery as ever. He grabbed a pillow and threw it over to Seamus with a big grin.

"Haha…tha's what'cha get for not wakin' me up!" But his smile soon faded, when everyone turned to him. Most were glaring angrily at him and those that weren't were either just staring at him with an expressionless face, or avoiding his eyes completely. The teenager was completely dumbfounded by the cruel greeting from his friends. He decided to just keep quite and started fixing himself for class. And his morning had not gotten better at all……if anything, it just got worse.

When he arrived for breakfast, they were already serving the desserts. It seemed he had missed the other courses. Added to that, he found neither Hermione nor Ginny were there. He sighed but decided he might always make do with what he could eat. The mess of a student instantly spotted one last empty seat between two seventh years and rushed to take it. But as soon as they saw him approaching, they filled in the void as best as they could and narrowed their eyes at Harry's figure before returning to their conversation. He looked around and found several, new free seats….

And as he tried to approach each one, he got similar welcomes. Ranging from loud whispers of 'Its that loser Potter boy!' and 'Yuck, Mr. Big Ego is coming!', to frowns and clenching of teeth that showed disapproval of him. Harry felt like he had done something terrible….

And then it had finally come to him.

Yesterday, he had the harshest fight with Hermione. Sure, he had clearly lost halfway…but he wasn't to give in. Instead, he gave some of the coldest retorts….

"_Yeah, well you're just a dirty little mudblood!"_

"_Wha….Harry…..how…how could you!"_

"_You heard me, mudblood! You're just a slimy little muggle!"_

And she was one the verge of tears when she said this, _"I can't believe you'd stoop that low Potter! I hate you, you backstabbing fiend!"_ , and that was the last retort she threw before breaking into the most heart-breaking sight of someone crying then rushing off to her room.

Harry Potter's heart ached once more. Remembering that fight made him feel he was dirtier than the Dark Lord himself……..crueler than Bellatrix Lestrange and much more evil than that snotty-nosed, pride-loving Draco Malfoy. The boy's eyes showed signs of pure sadness and a hint of feeling unwanted. So, he simply decided to skip breakfast.

And that was just morning….

Throughout his day, he felt as if he was a criminal lurking among innocent students. In between periods, he would get the same treatment….and by the end of the day, Harry had sarcastic thoughts of suicide….

The 7th-year Gryffindor's world was going in flames………but he had no complains……for he deserved it. And it was no surprise to him either that news had spread throughout the school by the end of the day, since news had spread around his house just overnight.

-

By dinner time, he didn't even want to show himself to public anymore. The depressed student sat quietly within one of the most secluded places in the castle…..the library. Lately, he had been coming here a lot. Just sitting on a chair with a book in front of him as he looked at it with different expressions each time. He wasn't really reading…he just had the book for an excuse in case Madam Pince told him the library was not a place for daydreaming accompanied with constant drooling and longing eyes.

The library had become like a place of peace and a chance to organize his thoughts. But tonight…..it would the place that completely destroyed something…..

Harry was staring at his book as if entranced by it but really thinking about his fight with Hermione……but not long, his thoughts had moved to something else……Hermione.

Now that he thought about it, she had changed a lot since first year. She was no longer that extremely paranoid, fact-loving, frizzy-haired bookworm. No…she had undergone an actually surprising 'metamorphosis', as some would put it. She still had her trademark bushy hair but it was less nest-like and had been tamed slightly, and had some obviously beautiful changes. She wore less colorless clothes and moved onto pretty, attractive ones. Ones that had gotten her quite a few onlookers for the first time in her whole stay at Hogwarts. Her personality had underwent a transformation as well. She was still a book-loving person but she had matured from a child to a teenager. She hung out with other girls more often, seemed to be more natural and was no longer as paranoid as before. The teenage female was now a beautiful, average teenage girl.

Beautiful…..but to Harry's eyes, she was still the loyal friend he always had….but that instantly changed when none other than Hermione came into view.

Harry had heard a distant opening and closing of a creaky door, then footsteps that grew louder with each movement. He felt someone's presence nearby other than Madam Pince and himself. A thought came to him….who else would come to the library so late and in between dinner time? The average teen saw a tint of pink from above his book and couldn't hesitate and look.

And he turned up, putting his book down, to find none other, than Hermione Granger. But to him…she looked like something from the heavens. She was wearing a typical pink sweater and a hot pair of jeans. The sweater protected her from the cold November breeze. Harry was in a bit of a pickle, for he swore to himself that he drooled for a minute at her before regaining composture. He drooled…but he didn't understand why!

When the young boy finally met his fellow Gryffindor's face for the first time that day, he saw a look of sheer surprise and a tint of anger and sadness.

She was about to turn around and leave when she felt a strong arm on hers. She turned and surprisingly found Harry right beside her in a fast, fluid motion. Harry had a pale look and he seemed to be in a state of confusion, not knowing what to do or say.

"Hermione, we….we can't just keep avoiding each other, you know?" began Harry, feeling he started correctly. He spoke in a way that seemed like he seemed to be seeking an apology but kept the obvious distant by acting cool. What Hermione thought of this was the exact opposite….that Harry was a desperate-for-fame hero wannabe……a prat who wanted to be loved once more….and that only heated her up once more. Her look of nervousness turned into the same one she had yesterday….one of fury.

"You know Potter…just when I thought you couldn't want for more fame, you come crawling back for more! What happened? Hogwarts turn on you? Oh how I love having Ginny as a friend……" Hermione returned coldly as low as she could. She was angry but she still respected the library. Harry knew he would have loved fighting back….but a side of his mind told him to do the right thing….

"I….I…."

"Well! Ain't it true? You just LOVE fame, don't you!"

"I….I…."

"WELL!"

Harry couldn't see why the words wouldn't come out. He seemed… longing.. entranced.. but again, he didn't understand why. He was staring at Hermione, and felt that he was actually drooling. But why was he drooling at Hermione? The boy shook the thought off and replied at last.

"I…I'm sorry Hermione…..I was being a prat…I….I'm sorry…..I know 7th year's been hectic…….with all the stuff that's being on……can we….I'm sorry but do you think we can still be friends?" asked Harry pleadingly, his face showing true honesty.

Hermione was a bit surprised by Harry's sudden truthfulness and didn't what to do. She seemed like she still hadn't forgiven him…..then replied with a heart of forgiveness….

"Well…I don't know…you might just be tricking me…but---uhhh!" But as soon as her face showed what Harry had hoped for, she was pulled into a caring hug. Harry tightened his grip around Hermione…..and could not hold it back any longer. Harry cried….

"I…I-I….I'm s-so sorry 'Mione….I thought I was gonna lose one of my best friends………I promise…I'll never be that selfish again…please don't leave me Mione….I can't take it anymore….Dumbledore….Sirius….my parents………" Harry burst into more tears uncharacteristically. But he didn't care. He needed to let it out……keeping it inside would only make it worse.

Hermione was surprised by the crushing embrace but soon felt bad for his friend….yes. They were friends again. Hermione smiled then frowned along with him. She clung to his back tightly, rubbing it gently.

"It's ok Harry…..let it out…let it---"

"Oi! You two youngsters can do your business upstairs! It's closing time….shoo!" It was Madam Pince. Harry rubbed off the last tears and the two kept each other company as they returned to their common room.

On their way back there, Harry smiled and was about to thank Hermione for her 'being a great sport' and always being there for him. But some things didn't need words, and Hermione put a finger on Harry's tender lips, and smiled back. They shared a moment, standing on the staircase, just smiling at each other…..then resumed their walk.

That night, Harry thought his heart would finally give him rest from the aches, now that he had his friend back. But instead…..he got the exact opposite.

-

It was midnight, and Harry was tossing and turning around his bed. He was making such a racket that Ron had to throw his precious golden locket from Luna to shut him up….but it was only temporary. His heart felt pain…….so much pain……more than all the aches he had felt combined….but he could not explain. He didn't understand any of this…..why was this happening to him? Did he have a disease? A Heart problem? He didn't wait for his thoughts to organize themselves and quickly got out of his bed. Grabbing a shirt to throw over his bare chest and some jeans to hide his boxers, he went down to the common room.

Maybe he could find some peace there to stop his unstoppable heart. As soon as he entered it though, the hard beating instantly stopped and resumed a normal rate. He saw a huge amount of brown, curly hair sitting on a sofa. He continued down the steps and saw the hair turn around, revealing none other than his best friend, Hermione. Again…he was confused. Why did his heart suddenly calm down? Was it because it saw a pretty girl….Harry shook his stupid thoughts off…..but now that he thought about it again…no no! He shook it off, but he was stunned by her again, just like before at the library.

"What the heck are you doing? Come on over here! I assume you weren't able to sleep either? How come?" Hermione gestured him over and his momentary paralysis seemed to disappear. He jogged over then jumped right beside Hermione, smiling as he did so, for some reason he could not find.

"Well…….can I talk to you about something?" Harry asked, and accepted Hermione's nod as his signal to start. So he began with his tale….

"Lately….I've been….well, I've been having pains…in my heart. It started last night…..when…well we fought……I thought I was feeling this pain cause I missed you and I needed your friendship………and then we made up. But earlier tonight, the aching came back…and it was more painful than ever…and I don't kno---"

But Harry wasn't able to finish his sentence….and he never would……..for Hermione had kissed him tenderly on the lips. Harry was stunned by Hermione's movement...and could not move a muscle! Hermione held the kiss for a moment then pulled back, with an expressionless face.

"Harry….how does your heart feel now?" Hermione asked out of the blue, her face still the same, no emotions emitting. Then…Harry thought for awhile. He felt contented….satisfied…relaxed….and at long last…he realized it. All this time…he was not feeling bad because of their friendship….he was feeling bad, because he hungered for love…passion….he hungered for Hermione Granger. He smiled then spoke,

"I…I feel happy…but….h-how?" Harry still didn't understand. Did Hermione feel this way for him as well all this time? His face seemed to light up when Hermione grinned then replied while taking his hand in hers,

"Harry…..for awhile now, I've been….well if you noticed…….I've been peeking glances at you……it's because….well….I've developed a crush on you. And so I decided to research on the human heart…….I read about it and it said several things about puberty affecting it and the definition of true love. I kept researching it, and saw an article about 'True Romantic Love'….and what you said right now is exactly what the summary stated….

"'True Love is when feels an aching in one's heart…..seeking hunger for someone. When that person makes contact with that person they hunger for, they immediately feel a temporary sensation of being satisified, contented and happy. And this is why we should express our love honestly………helping one another by showing true love is one way of showing a good conscience, a loving personality and that you are compatible with each other'….that's what it said…and so---" but Hermione didn't finish her sentence either…and she never would…

Harry was entranced by the summary and he realized the truth…..he loved Hermione…and she loved him…..things were still blurry and unclear…but for now, he was contented with that. They could discuss things some other time……maybe later, tomorrow or whenever. But he didn't care right now. He lay on the sofa, tightened his grip on Hermione and kissed her romantically…..and he didn't care anymore……

'Some words do not always need to be spoken' said a wise man…and to Harry, that wise man was right. He lay here, loving the woman he knew he would love forever.

And he didn't need anyone to ensure him about it…..because for once in years….he was ok.

He understood.


End file.
